I think I have bitten off more than I can chew. Now that summer is nearly over and school is about to start, I'm having panic attacks that I have signed up for more than I can handle for the next few months.
As it stands right now, I'm working nearly 40 hours a week. I'm actually really enjoying this schedule, since I can still be home all day with my son four days a week. We get to spend time together and we can focus on learning things, like how to pee on the potty, that take some time. I love my new job in Portland, despite the fact that my gas bill in the new Subaru is a bit high (oops!). I love my waitressing job at night too. I love the people there and the excitement. (The money doesn't hurt either!)
Things are just about perfect right now. But, in less than two weeks I start school. Full time. What was I thinking??? Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited to be going and I think this degree is going to be a great thing to add to my resume, but I'm terrified that I won't be able to keep up with my classes and my two jobs. The last time I was in college was I was working nearly 60 hours a week at the cookie shop with my mom. I still managed to make it through with more than respectable grades. I know it WAS possible for me once. But I didn't have a kid then. And I'm not sure how I'm going to handle having study time cut into my Ben time.
The closer it gets to labor day, the more nervous I become. Can I really do this? Am I going to be ok not spending as much time with Ben? Is Ben going to be ok not spending as much time with me? Am I going to find enough hours in the day to get everything done?
I just don't know.
But I do know this....even if it's miserable, it'll be over by December. And I can make changes to my school and work schedules then to make things more bearable. I also know that I still have this weekend and all of next week to spend as much time as I can stand with my kid. So, with that said, I'm off to the lake!