Last night, while sitting on the couch reading, of course, I heard perhaps the loudest most obnoxious bug noise ever. It didn't even seem natural. When I leaned over to ask my husband if it was really indeed a bug, or a malfunction in the television, I noticed he had fallen asleep. Which of course distracted me as I laughed at him and pestered him to go to bed.
At 1:30 in the morning I woke up hearing that bug again. Outside my upstairs bedroom window. Annoyed, I rolled over, buried my head in the pillow and thought, "well, it's a good thing it can't get in the bedroom."
At 4:30 I woke up to the damn bug IN my bedroom making the loudest most ridiculous bug noises ever. Which, of course, my husband was sleeping through. Wide awake, I began staring at the walls waiting for the bug to make an appearance. Which it did. Much to my husbands surprise, I flicked on the lights and slammed a shoe at it. I do not think I killed it, but it would appear I maimed it enough to shut it up for the night. With luck it perished during the day and I don't have to hunt it down tonight in the middle of the night. And no, clearly I don't have sympathy for insects. Gross.
What was it you ask?? Well it was dark, but it appeared to look something like this. A giant mutant LOUD grasshopper. Ewwwww