I have been very successful on several accounts, I managed to graduate from college while working full time, raising a family and living an hour away from school. I'm pretty pleased with that accomplishment. I'm also quite pleased with my success with Ben. You know, how I actually conceived him. For a lot of people it's as easy as "Let's make a baby" and boom, they're done. For me, there were a lot more challenges, right from the beginning, lots of failure and many, many opportunities to just give up. I remember at one point the nutritionist I had been seeing for years asked me if I was ready yet to look at adoption. I had to take a long hard look at what I was doing and what I wanted, and ultimately, I decided I wasn't ready to give up yet. And I didn't. I found an office in New Jersey that would provide IVF at a price I could (almost) afford, and I MADE it happen. We will likely be paying off credit cards for the rest of our lives, but I don't care, I was SUCCESSFUL in getting what I wanted.
Perhaps that's what has me so frustrated right now, I don't know WHAT it is that I want next. I think once I figure that out, once I find something I want bad enough, I will make it happen. I KNOW I will make it happen...I just need to figure out what that next step is...and that has me very frustrated.