Thursday, September 15, 2011

Wedding Vows

So I went to a wedding this past weekend.  My husband's co-worker was the bride, and I used to work with her too, back in the good old days when I had a 9-5 job.  It was a very sweet little wedding, but I have to say, she was probably one of the most excited brides I've ever seen.  I'm not sure I've ever seen a more genuine smile, it was so sweet.

What really struck me as out of the ordinary, and very moving, were the vows she made.  Obviously she and her husband exchanged the usual love, honor, cherish, etc...vows, but when they were finished she turned to her three new stepdaughters and made them a vow as well.  It was very moving, she vowed to love them, to encourage their relationship with their father and their mother, and to set a good example of what a happy marriage should look like.  She was in tears, and I think the oldest of the girls (about 12 years old I think) was a little teary too.  And more than a few of the guests were moved as well.

I didn't make vows to my stepsons at my wedding.  Not ones out loud anyway.  I grew up with a stepmother and I knew, to a point anyway, what I wanted to be for the boys.  I wanted to be their mother for them at times when they needed it, and give them space at times when their own mother was there for them.  I wanted to be their friend, when I could, and when they'd let me, and an honest but fair disciplinarian when I had to be.  I wanted them to see that I was there for them and their father.  I wanted to set an example for them about the value of family, the value of education, the value of hard work.  I just wanted them to be happy.  And all of that is still true.

Though my own vows to my stepsons remain unsaid, I really hope that someday when they think back about their lives with me in it, they can see what I had been hoping to be for them when I married their father.

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