I Did It!

I think a little fan fare is needed today, I successfully posted a blog everyday for the entire month of November.  I rock!

It was hard at first, to find not only the time, but something worth writing about.  While I know not every blog I've posted this month has been an excellent piece of writing, I'm still pleased that I was able to at least put something in writing everyday.  And it has become easier, I'm not sure if that's because I've lowered my standards, or if I've just become more comfortable with this.  Either way, I'm really glad I forced myself to do this.  I can't promise that I'll write everyday in December, but I do know that I will make an honest effort to do more than I had been.  Even if no one reads what I'm writing, I'm still happy to at least make this effort for myself to prove that I can write something.  It might not be the next great American novel, or even great, but at least it's a start.  And a start is all I need right now...

La-La Bear

Ben and I started unpacking the Christmas decorations today.  Needless to say, the afternoon was filled with "Don't TOUCH that" and "Just LOOK at it."  I think it's going to be a long holiday season.

But the best part of today was bringing up my light up Christmas Bear.  I've had this thing since I was a baby and every year it is the one decoration that I have to have out to make it feel like Christmas.  It's not exactly the most beautiful of decorations, but it's been a part of my Christmas for as long as I can remember, and sharing it with Ben today was a pretty awesome experience.

He was mesmerized by the lights, and since he has just recently learned to say "light" (la-la) and bear (bear) he was able to put words to what he was seeing (la-la bear!), which was pretty amazing as well.  He spent about twenty minutes looking at it, and touching the little light bulbs and trying to be gentle with it.  Fortunately La-la Bear is still intact, and with a little luck, he will remain that way through the holidays.

Sharing my bear with Ben was a pretty great way to start the holidays, and I hope it will be a part of all of his Christmas memories.

Thin Ice

My dog is walking on thin ice.  Seriously thin ice...like the ice I saw on the lake the other day...very, very thin...

She has taken up a new habit of peeing on the floor when she is mad at me.

I'm not enjoying it.

I think her problem is that she's jealous of Ben.  When I leave the house with Ben, she pees.  When I go upstairs and lock the baby gate so she can't join us, she pees.

And it's not just that she pees.  She pees on Ben's toys.  Which is a thousand times more annoying than just peeing on the floor.  Today I had to wash half a train set, a blankie, and the sit-n-spin because she peed on them.

Gross.

She has about a million other annoying traits, including, but not limited to, barking during nap time. Our next step with her is actually to attempt prozac-ing the bejeezes out of her in hopes that her separation anxiety and stranger fears will calm down some.  She's extremely high maintenance and has some serious issues...but she is my dog, and I do love her.  It's not entirely her fault that she was hit by a car and has since become a nutcase...

But in the mean time...she's driving me BONKERS peeing on the floor.  BONKERS!!!!

Holiday Spirit!

I think it's time for me to bust out the Christmas spirit.  And by that I mean the Christmas decorations.  It's really hard to feel Christmas until your house is sprinkled in glitter, tinsel and reindeer.  Since Ben will be more involved in Christmas this year, I'm trying to get things started early so it doesn't feel so rushed.  I want to make sure we have plenty of time to sing Christmas songs, make paper snowflakes and decorate Christmas cookies.  I remember the excitement of being a kid at Christmas, and I want Ben to start feeling some of that energy.  I know he's still little, but I think he can still enjoy the excitement.

Friday night we have tickets for the Polar Express on the Portland Narrow Gauge Railroad.  I'm very, very excited to do this with Ben.  I think it will be a great way to start the holiday season and a fun adventure for a Friday night.  I'm hoping to get some cute pictures of him in his Christmas jammies, and hopefully one of two with Santa, but we'll see.

So hopefully this week I'll be able to start cleaning and decorating so Friday can really be the kick-off to Christmas.  Since Ben's toys occupy 98% of my living room, I'm going to have to put things away to make room for a tree, I hope he doesn't mind...

Maid Services

I've got a few hours left before I head back to the bar for another shift of waiting tables and serving drinks.  (Last night I practiced making Rum Punch and Blue Hawaiians...I'm going to be a bartender before you know it!)  I'd like to spend my last few hours of the day relaxing, maybe reading a book and sipping a cup of tea.  Unfortunately, there's still a massive amount of dirty laundry sitting around, a floor in need of serious vacuuming, and two bathrooms that are in desperate need of a thorough cleaning.  While I probably won't tackle all those projects before I leave, I suppose I'll have to do at least one or two more of them.

Some days I wonder what it would be like to have a maid.  Someone that would come in and do the dishes, pick up the dirty dishes and dirty socks left around the house by lazy teenagers, wash and fold my laundry, clean my floors and dust.  I'm pretty sure it would be amazing.  I'm also pretty sure that I would be one of those people that cleaned my house before the maid showed up.  I'm not convinced I could let anyone else see the "real" dirt that accumulates around here...

I've been a maid before.  I was "housekeeping" one summer on the island at the Inn.  Not the greatest job I've ever had, but I didn't hate it.  I also accompanied my grandmother when she went cleaning cottages.  And in the past I've worked with both my mother and grandmother maintaining one family's summer home on the island.  Needless to say, I'm pretty familiar with cleaning.  So while I grumble and complain about cleaning this house, I can honestly say I've seen worse.  And while it would be a great treat to have a maid's help with the mess around this house, I'm more than capable of handling it, and I think I would probably prefer it that way.

Although I wouldn't mind if someone volunteered to do the vacuuming today....

Black Friday Zzzzzzs

I knew I would regret Black Friday shopping.  I tried to plan it so I could get as much sleep as possible, but it was still a no-go.  I woke up at midnight and couldn't get back to sleep.  When 3am rolled around I was still awake so I woke Don up and away we went.

To the deserted Wal-Mart and Target in Biddeford.  At 4am, there was no one there.  We both agreed, there were more employees than shoppers, which made our life soooo much easier.  We managed to get all the items on our list, with the exception of one item, and finished both stores in one hour of shopping.  It was very anti-climactic.  But I managed some serious savings on a few items we really wanted to get for Christmas....like over 50% savings on a few items.  Score!

And try as I might today, I have not been able to make up much of my lost sleep.  Which is really too bad, because in about 45 minutes I'm heading to work...for my 5-close shift.  Zzzzzzzz.  I'm usually tired by ten on a normal night, not sure how tonight's going to play out.

But going to work tonight does have one advantage...I don't have to be home when the over tired Benjamin goes into meltdown mode.  A busy Thanksgiving and overnight at Grandma's has left him tired and more than a little grumpy.

With a little luck, we can all sleep in tomorrow morning, and I'm looking forward to that!

A Thankful Thanksgiving

I have a lot of things to be thankful for, and I try on a daily basis to remember how lucky I am.  It's hard some days, when bills are piling up, cars are malfunctioning and my son is throwing yet another temper tantrum, to keep things in perspective.  So let me just take a minute to share what I am thankful for today and everyday, whether I remember I'm thankful for it or not.

I'm thankful for my family.  All of it.  Grandparents, parents, step-parents, step-children, step-siblings, my sister, cousins, etc.  I am thankful that I have a large extended family to spend time with because I think family, above everything, is important.  It's what makes us who we are, and influences who we become.  Even as nutty as my family can be at times, I love everyone in it.

I'm thankful for my marriage.  It sounds a little impersonal, I know, I should say I'm thankful for my husband.  And while I am thankful, very thankful for him, I think I can appreciate the difference between having a wonderful husband and a wonderful relationship that we have both worked on.  We've been through a lot together, and I know we will have a lot more to go through, but together I think we can handle an awful lot together, and I am so thankful to know that he has my back and that he loves me (almost) as much as I love him.

I'm thankful for my step-sons.  I've learned a lot from them about life, loving, and raising boys.  They've been patient with me and I've been patient with them (I think) as we've all learned how to get along as life changes.

I'm thankful for my son.  Everyday I am thankful for my son.  He is the best thing I've ever done, and ever will do, and no matter how frustrated I get with him, I can't help but be amazed that he's mine.  I know that there was a chance that I could never have had him, and everyday I am just so thankful that I did. 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Turkey Coma...

A Snowy Morning

I woke up this morning to the sound of snow.  Snow sliding off my roof.  Which my dog was barking at.  Good morning.  A few minutes later, the power flickered.  Not a good sign.  The baby promptly started screaming, because his white noise machine freaks when the power flickers and tends to start making a very scary "alien static" noise which is hard for him to sleep through.

And so my morning began.  Knowing that with 8ish inches of snow on the ground, and 8ish inches of snow on the trees, it would be highly likely that I would lose power.  So, first things first, I baked a pumpkin pie.  While the pie was baking, I took a shower.  Now, fully prepared for a power outage of epic proportions, I started in on the graham cracker pie crusts for the chocolate cream pie.  I like to make them from scratch, and while you can make them without baking them, I do like them better crisped up in the oven.  With a little help from Ben, I managed to get the crusts done and baked about 10 minutes before the power went out.

Perfect timing.

Fortunately, the power was only out for a few hours, so the house didn't get cold and the teenagers didn't go mad from boredom.  Ben and I played in the snow for a bit (he was not very pleased that his little car got covered in snow, so he shoveled his out while I shoveled mine) and came in for some snuggles on the couch with fresh popcorn and Dinosaur Train on PBS.  All in all, it was a great afternoon with my little goober.

So, with the pies done for tomorrow, and nothing to do for the rest of the night, I think I'm going to catch up on some sleep so I can be prepared for Black Friday shopping and holiday decorating this weekend.  I hope everyone else had a nice cozy snow day today, I know I enjoyed mine!

A Moving Text Message

I didn't have a good day today, and I'm not going to talk about it.

Instead, I'm going to talk about what was perhaps one of the most moving text messages ever sent to my husband from his son.  It said:

"Finished Hunger Games.  Need the next book."

It brought a tear to my eyes.  That's right people, Marcus willingly read all of The Hunger Games AND asked for the next book in the series.  I nearly dropped everything to run to the store to get a copy of the book, but I had a few days before he actually came home from his mom's house, so I picked up a copy Sunday afternoon.  One of the few times I would have been more than willing to pay full price for anything.

If this isn't the best endorsement of The Hunger Games I can give, I'm not sure what would be.  Seriously, would you take a recommendation from a random writer, or a celebrity, or a 16 year old who, 99% of the time, would rather stare at a wall than read??

While I could sit here and list more reasons why you should read the books, I'm in the middle of the last book in the Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini, and I really want to get back to it.....

Cooking Day!

Today I decided I needed to clean out my refrigerator.  My solution was to cook things, using the ingredients in my fridge.  This plan backfired since none of the recipes used up all of the ingredients I had, and then produced more items that needed to be refrigerated.  Needless to say, my fridge is PACKED.

But I thought I would share the recipes of the things I made that came out well.  I decided to start by getting rid of the big pack of spinach in the fridge left over from the lasagna I made on Friday.  I made a Potato Spinach Soup that is pretty much out of this world.  Creamy and silky with the mild flavor of spinach, the soup was delicious and very filling.  Here's the recipe: Potato Spinach Soup

While that was simmering, I thought I'd try to get rid of some ricotta.  Since no one eats "spinach ricotta stuffed pasta" (well, other than me) I thought I'd try something different.  I found a recipe for Ricotta Scones that came out beautifully.  I've never made scones before, so I was a little confused, but it ended up being really easy and they came out nice and moist and cinnaminnie.  (That's right, cinnaminnie...try the scones, you will agree, they are cinnaminnie.)  The recipe is here: Ricotta Cheese Scones

While those are the only two things I made with recipes, I did make a batch of homemade chicken noodle soup, yum yum, and some homemade applesauce.  It was a food filled afternoon here!

Tomorrow  I have some plans that will keep me away from the house for a few hours, so I won't be doing much cooking.  Hopefully we have enough left over soup to get us through!

FYI-Today is 21 days of blogging everyday.  I'm finding it much easier now than it was at the beginning.  :)

My Rocking Chair Needs Lumbar Support

Inner Monologue During the 40 Minutes of Rocking My Son To Sleep

After 5 Minutes:

Man, he is so sweet, he should be out like a light in just a few more minutes.  Mmmm, and his hair smells so nice and babyish.

After 10 Minutes:

Ok, that's enough of playing with baby doll's eyes and ears.  Let's focus on sleeping.  Mommy wants to go get some cake.

After 20 Minutes:

Seriously, if you un-zip and re-zip your pajamas one more time I'm going to freak out.  Ok, I'm freaking out now, but in my head, quietly, in case you thought you were going to fall asleep.  Seriously stop ZIPPING the effing pajamas.

After 25 Minutes:

Who the hell designed this rocking chair?  Have they ever HEARD of lumbar support?  God, my lumbar is killing me.  Or, I think that's my lumbar anyway.  Just stop fidgeting Ben.  Seriously.  Mom wants cake.

After 27 Minutes:

Is that Don getting cake?  He's eating cake down there and I'm stuck here rocking the world champion pajama zipper who will not GO TO SLEEP.  This is NOT fair.  I want CAKE!!!

After 30 Minutes:

Ok, just lay here quietly, and I'll step away from the crib....no....don't roll over....NO!  DO NOT pick up your head.  Don't do it!  Noooooo, do not sit up!!!!  And I'm starting over....

After 35 Minutes:

Throw that blankie on the floor one more time and you're following it.  Mom is done.

After 40 Minutes:

Holy shit, I think he's finally asleep.....quiet....quiet.....quiet......((close door))  SUCCESS!!!!

*No, we don't rock him to sleep every night, but for the last week he has decided that he needs to have a complete melt down if he is alone in his crib.  He goes through phases like this every now and then...and it's really, really, annoying.

Book Time for Ben

Tonight Ben was in a reading mood, so we read a few books together.  It's not often that he will sit still long enough to get through a book, and even rarer to read three.  Usually he chooses the same books, over and over, but tonight he lugged over an oldie but goodie: Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney illustrated by Anita Jeram.  We used to read this one a lot when he was a little baby, and wouldn't/couldn't wiggle away.

If you haven't read it, it's a sweet story of Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare getting ready for bed.  Little Nutbrown Hare is having a hard time expressing how much he loves Big Nutbrown Hare, but every time he finally puts it in words, Big Nutbrown Hare tells him how much more he loves him.  It's really sweet and I love the illustrations and the story.

Here's a little excerpt from one of my favorite pages:

'I love you as high as I can hop!' laughed Little Nutbrown Hare, bouncing up and down. 

'But I love you as high as I can hop,' smiled Big Nutbrown Hare-and he hopped so high that his ears touched the branches above. 

That's good hopping, thought Little Nutbrown Hare.  I wish I could hop that high.

It's such a sweet little story, and I loved that Ben sat still and let me read it to him.  I'm pretty sure he loves me to the moon, but, like Big Nutbrown Hare, I love him to the moon and back...

Anniversary Party Success!

So...tired....

The 40th Anniversary Party went amazingly well, but I'm beat.  Everything went very smoothly, between setting up, having enough food, Ben behaving himself, and cleaning up.  We were out of there with 2 minutes to spare!  (I rented a small event room down the street that has pretty strict time guidelines.)

It was really nice to see my in-laws spend time with family and friends and not have to worry about the minutiae that comes with big gatherings.  (What? Did I just use the word minutiae at 9:30 at night?  You can tell I'm tired.)

And I got to bring home a bunch of cake, cupcakes and brownies.  BONUS!

So a big thank you to everyone that attended (not that many will read this, since I highly doubt they even know what a blog is, never mind that I write one) and to everyone that brought food to share.  We couldn't have done it without the help we received from family and friends.

A special thank you to Don's cousin Jennifer who made this AMAZING cake for Bob and Mary Ann:

It was pretty amazing, and tasted just as good as it looked!  So, Happy 40th Anniversary to my in-laws, thank you for setting an amazing example for my family, and may you enjoy another 40 more years together.



One of Those Days...

Do you ever have those days when you have a list of about 400 things to do and you think, "Boy, this is gonna be a busy day,"  then you remember you have an almost-two-year-old and you cross half the things off the list because they're just going to be impossible, and then you hope you can get through half of your remaining list?  That's the kind of day I'm having.

My husband and I are throwing a 40th Anniversay Party for his parents tomorrow night.  And while I say my husband and I are doing it, I really mean I'm doing all the cooking, preparing, decorating and organizing while he "oks" things.  So I'm pretty busy.

And Ben has chosen the last two days to want to spend every second on my lap and "helping" me with things that really require no help.  I love the kid, and I love snuggling, but for pete's sake!  I've got a party for 50 people tomorrow and Mumma needs to get some things done!

Tomorrow night hopefully I can post a few pictures after the party and tell you how amazing everything turned out.  Or perhaps I will post a few pictures of the disasterous events and rant about how I'm never throwing another party again.  It could go either way....

Angry Laptop

My laptop is dying.  By dying I mean it starts flashing at me (in a very mean tone I might add) every time I accidentally jiggle it by doing something as silly as breathing, or typing.  At the moment, I have the lid 1/3 of the way open which is making it very hard to type.  If I open the lid any more it will start flashing and that will make me want to scream, so I'm going to leave it alone.

Needless to say, tonight's blog is going to be short.

With a little luck, we will find some sort of magic warranty that will fix this, or perhaps someone really handy with laptop repair.  Worse case scenario...I'm back to my 7 year old desktop.  That should be fun.  And by fun I mean horrible because that computer is practically an antique.

Oh technology....how I hate thee....

Not Quite a Big Boy Yet...

Yesterday I had the brilliant idea to start potty training my child.  This idea was equally as brilliant as putting up the Christmas lights last weekend (see results here).

I thought since Ben now notifies me when he poops that he might possibly notify me before he goes so he could use the potty instead.  Two wet pairs of underpants and socks later, I have concluded that Ben cannot tell me that he needs to pee.

Today, while folding the laundry, Ben spyed his now clean underpants and immediately started stripping down for another go at potty training.  I was thinking that this time,  if I just sat with him on the potty longer he might accidentally pee on it.  Nope.  One episode of Jake and the Neverland Pirates later (not a great show by the way) no pee.  Five minutes later on the dining room floor, pee.

So I think we're going to give up for now and try again in a few weeks.  When someone doesn't just say "No Mumma, No Pee" just to placate me.

But he does look mighty cute in his monkey underoos....

Practice Pies

A couple of years ago I offered to make the pies for Thanksgiving dinner.  My mom was cooking the rest of the meal, so I thought it would be nice for her not to have to worry about dessert.  I don't claim to be the best cook in the world, but my baking skills are passable.  I would have made the crust from scratch too, I am my mother's daughter after all.  But, a few days before Thanksgiving she called to say that she had decided to make the pumpkin pie and I could just make the chocolate pie.  The pie that does not require a traditional crust and is made with a box of pudding mix.  In other words..."You can make the idiot proof pie and I will make the delicious one that requires my special homemade crust." 

Grumbling, I made the chocolate pie and she upstaged me with her perfect pumpkin pie.

So imagine my surprise a few weeks ago when mom asked me to make the pies for Thanksgiving.  WHAT?!?!  The pumpkin pie too???  At first I refused on the grounds that I didn't want her to call and change her mind and stick me with the can of cranberry sauce the day before Thanksgiving.  But she insisted she wouldn't do that and I've been allowed to supply the Thanksgiving pies.

Obviously, I'm going to screw them up.  Chocolate Cream Pie is a piece of cake, I'm not worried about that.  It really is an idiot proof pie, even when you make the graham cracker crust from scratch.  It's the Pumpkin Pie that has me terrified.  I have to make the crust from scratch.  Pillsbury has no place at my mom's Thanksgiving.  And since I make maybe one pie crust a year, I don't have a lot of faith in my crust skills.

Seriously, why does pie crust have to be so damn complicated.  For something with FOUR ingredients, it's absurdly challenging.

Which is why I made a practice pie today.  Apple.  If it sucks, I'll make a practice pumpkin tomorrow....and custard the day after....maybe cherry after that.  With luck, I'll be able to make a good pie by Thanksgiving, and I can hold my head up at the Thanksgiving table.

I hope it tastes as good as it looks!

Hanging Up the Christmas Lights

Today, I had the ridiculous idea to put up Christmas lights on the outside of the house.  Not with any intention of turning them on quite yet, but since the weather was nice, I thought it would be an easier task than trying to do it in a few weeks when snow may or may not be covering the ground and the weather may or may not be freezing cold.  It was still a stupid idea.

First, the outside lights we have (pretty white ones with the old school large glass bulbs) decided not to work.  Apparently when the cats tipped over the box marked "Christmas Lights" this summer, they did some irreparable damage.  Two strings in the trash.  Next I bring up 4 strands of multi-color indoor/outdoor lights.  Two more strings of lights go right to the trash, but since I was only looking for two working strands of lights, I'm ready to rock and roll.

Until I get the staple gun. 

I like to pride myself on being somewhat independent, and able to handle some basic tools.  But apparently putting the staples in the staple gun is just too much.  Fortunately Don was around to take the staples out, and properly fit them into the staple gun so they would come out and not slide around rattling inside.

I probably should have just given up here.

But, I got the rickety wooden ladder from the shed and somehow managed to hang lights around one of the bay windows all by myself.  Unfortunately, I didn't exactly plan my hanging strategy appropriately and the end of the string of lights I wanted at one end of the window ended up at the other end of the window, but with some quick thinking and an extension cord, I solved the problem.

The second bay window is partly covered by the ugliest rhododendron in the universe.  Every year I swear I'm going to cut it down, but then it flowers, and it's pretty, so I leave it, but by the end of summer it's back to looking like the plant equivalent of a moulting parakeet and I wonder why I don't just chop the stupid thing down.  But I digress.  With my husband holding the ladder (and being unhelpful by critiquing my stapling abilities) I get the last string of lights up.

I then go to connect the extension cord between the two sets of lights, only to discover that the extension cord has three prongs...and the lights two.  Who the HELL designs these things?  Seriously?  As I grumble around the house trying to find some magical device to convert three prongs to two, and ponder the wisdom of just "removing" a prong...I remember the lights in the trash can.  Technically half of the lights on each string were working, so they must be able to convey electricity from one end to the other...perhaps if I used the broken strand as a half-assed extension cord I could connect the strands without a trip to the hardware store with the knowing clerk giving me a look that says he knows women can't hang Christmas lights.

SUCCESS!  My broken Christmas light extension cord worked, and I hid the working portion behind the ugly rhododendron to obscure the fact that the half a string of lights dangling just above the ground is not supposed to be part of the decorations.

Next year I think I'll just get a light up snowman.

Reading a Good Book

I read a really good book today.  (You can read more about it on my other blog.)  I've been trying to find time to read it all week, but I finally had the opportunity to spend the afternoon reading, and I'm really glad I did.  The book was The Sonnet Lover by Carol Goodman and it was a nice little slap in the face reminding me why I majored in English in the first place.  The book is partly based on a story told through sonnets and since the main character was an English professor, the story was filled with lots of stuff that I remember from college, but has been nearly forgotten since I have little need for those things since I graduated.

Partly it makes me sad, because I loved my English classes and reading books that were challenging and scholarly.  It reminds me that I'm really not using my education at all in my daily life, and I'm terrified that I'm going to start forgetting it all.

It also makes me sad that I probably won't ever have opportunities to go to far away places and study history and literature like the professor in the novel.  What I wouldn't give to have the opportunity to go abroad and learn.  I suppose it's not completely out of the question, but it's currently a financial impossibility, nevermind the impracticability of leaving my son for more than a day....

But, it is also a bit inspiring for me.  Reminding me that perhaps if I do pick up a book of sonnets, or a book about James Joyce or the Harlem Renaissance, I won't be completely clueless.  And perhaps someday I will find some inspiration and be able to apply my education to a piece of my own work.

I love that books make me think.  What would I do without them?

Well I'm Ready for Bed!

It's almost eleven, and I'm beat.  I started my morning with a little yoga, had breakfast with Ben and Don and then we piled into the car to run errands.  And while I usually enjoy my weekly shopping trips, the stores were packed today and between fighting through the mobs of people and the whiny child we were dragging along, it was pretty trying on the patience.

Coming home to discover that the dogs decided to eat Ben's toys, pee on the floor, and burst an ink pen on the couch really didn't add to the afternoon.  And after being home for about 45 minutes, I was back out the door heading to work where we were surprisingly busy.  I showed off my amazing bartending skills (aka I pour Captain and Cokes all night) and ran around for several hours doing everything from washing dishes to pouring drinks.

Now that I'm finally home, and sitting down, I'm just going to spend the next few minutes watching the clock so I can say I was there for 11:11 11/11/11.  It's not much of a Friday night, but after the day I've had, it's just going to have to do.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a bit more inspiring...

Ladies Night!

If you know me even a little bit, you know that I'm not a drinker.  Never have been, likely never will be.  So how on earth I've ended up working at a bar on Ladies Night is beyond me.  (Actually, I know exactly how it happened, just never saw it coming!)

I'm not one of those high and mighty teetotalers who believes alcohol is horrible and should be banned.  I just don't like it.  I know I'm a light weight, I know I can't handle booze, so I just stay away from it.  It's as simple as that. 

But it makes it quite tricky to work in a bar.  I know when I first started, I would take drink orders and just nod my head...sure...I'll be right back with your Bombay Martini, extra dry, olives on the side...because I know exactly what that means...Now that I've been serving drinks for a while, I've gotten the hang of it, or at least the hang of knowing what they're talking about anyway.  Working at the bar now, I'm starting to learn how to make the drinks, which is again pretty tricky when you don't actually drink.  I could start sampling them...but since I do have to drive home after my shift, and function as a human the following day, I tend to refrain from that.

Thus far, I've become a master of pouring all things mixed with coke, ginger ale or sprite.  Need some whiskey, neat?  I'm all over that too (and I can even do it on the rocks!)  Margarita?  No problem, as long as there's a bottle of margarita mix ready to go.  Above and beyond that, well, I have to ask for help.  But, Rome wasn't built in a day, so perhaps there's some hope for my bartending skills.

Budget Time!

Things do not appear to be as dire as they seemed last week.  We're still in a bit of a financial turmoil, and I'm very seriously looking at new jobs, but I've managed to remain on at the sports grille a few nights a week (also owned by the folks who owned the restaurant I worked for up until last week).  While this doesn't yet feel like a permanent solution to things, it will at least allow me to look around without putting us in financial crisis.

And since things are going to be up in the air for a bit, I've resolved to reign in my weekly spending.  I'm already a very budget conscious shopper, I buy generic brands where and when I can, I clip and use coupons, I shop the sales and the clearance racks, and yet I think I could do better.  I usually allow myself $100 a week for grocery items, and then extra for "non-edible" items like toilet paper, toothpaste, light bulbs, etc.  My plan now is to allow only $100 for all items we need during the week.  It's going to be tricky, and I'm sure I won't be able to do it every week, but I think if I focus on what we really do need and stock up on the items I can get for very cheap, I really think I might be able to do it.

Besides, who doesn't like the rush of getting a $3 tube of toothpaste for 8 cents?  Or a pack of $5 toothbrushes for $1.50?  And this week I'm going to score some couscous for free.  Free is good.  Free is real good...

A Musical Night Out

Chorus concert tonight!  It's been a long time since we've had an extracurricular activity to attend, so tonight's chorus concert caught us off guard.  For his fine arts credit, Marcus decided to take chorus despite the fact that he's not known for his harmonious vocals.  I give him credit for getting all dressed up, participating in the concert and even doing the sign language accompaniment to "Imagine."  (Oh yeah, it was that type of concert.)  I'm pretty sure it won't be on his list of top ten awesome moments from high school...but it was nice time nonetheless.

Getting to the concert, well, that was nothing short of miraculous.  I knew the concert was at seven.  I did not know, until 4:30, that Marcus had to be there at six.  And not just at six, but before six.  So at 4:30, Marcus shows up at the house with pants that need to be hemmed and a shirt that needs to be ironed.  Ben is naked, and obviously needs to be clothed and fed before the concert.  And speaking of fed, I had to make something for dinner.

Because I'm super stepmom, the pants were hemmed, the shirt ironed, the baby fed and dressed and dinner was out of the oven just in time for Marcus to inhale a bowl of food before we ran out the door...and arrived at the school two minutes early.

And because I am so amazing, I managed to get my grocery shopping done during the hour between dropping Marcus off and the concert.

So we had a nice family outing listening to the sweet sounds of the Massabesic music program.  A note to other parents of almost two year olds attending music concerts:  bring two boxes of raisins, one just doesn't cut it.

Birthday Cakes

Mmmmmm, chocolate cake.  I'm starting to get really tired of all these days of feeling angry/sad/apprehensive/frustrated.  Which is why I'm glad I have some chocolate cake.  I'm kind of an addict when it comes to cake.  I love cake.  Any type of cake (except carrot...because who puts vegetables in a cake?) any type of frosting.  If it's cake-I'm in.

When I was pregnant my only consistent craving was cake.  Every stop at the grocery store would find me drooling in the bakery section over the individual slices of cake.  And I admit it, I ate my fair share of grocery store cake slices.  Sure they aren't as tasty, and they're really sweet...but cake is cake.

Which is why I love birthdays so much.  This year I scored two different birthday cakes.  Coconut cream, from my stepmother, and chocolate decadent from my mom. Double yum....

Coconut Cream Cake is a lovely double layered yellow cake with coconut folded into the batter, frosted with an amazingly fluffy whipped cream frosting with, obviously, coconut folded in.  A little more coconut dusts the top of the cake and it's a seriously amazing cake.  I'm not even a huge coconut fan, but this cake is outstanding.  Moist and dense cake with the lightest, prettiest, fluffiest frosting ever.  It's soooo amazing.

Chocolate Decadent Cake is my mom's master piece.  She's been making it for years upon years and has it perfected.  It's an extremely dense and rich chocolate cake with a thick, fudgey chocolate glaze on top.  It's so rich you can only eat tiny slices...but they are tiny slices of heaven.  She makes it only for special occasions, or as a gift for someone.  It's rare to score a whole cake from her, and yet I scored one for birthday number 28.  Go me!

The coconut cake is nearly gone, but I've still got half a chocolate cake left.  I think it'll get me through the next few days...ahhhh...chocolate cake....

Happy 100!!

Yay!  Congratulations!  Way to go!

Today is my 100th blog post!

I decided to celebrate in style:

A dozen roses, candles, homemade lobster alfredo and a rich slice of chocolate decadent cake.  Nothing says 100 blog posts like gourmet....leftovers.

Yup, tonight for dinner I whipped up a quick alfredo sauce, dumped in some lobster left over from my birthday and enjoyed a slice of the left over chocolate birthday cake my mom made me.  Fancy-schmancy.

As much as I would like to write an amazing blog tonight, with life altering revelations, inspirational words and beautiful imagery, it just ain't happening.  It's been a long weekend, with a lot of traveling and a kiddo who is not adjusting well to the time change.

So I'm just going to say that this has been fun, I'm very pleased that I've been able to find enough stuff to write about, and that I have every intention to keep plugging away at this.  Thanks to everyone who reads this and keeps encouraging me, hopefully you'll continue to find this mildly interesting.

Happy 100 Posts to Me!!

It's Cake Time!!!

Happy Birthday to me!

Good grief I'm getting old.  (Don't yell at me, I know I'm not really that old.)  It's still hard to believe that I've somehow managed to become 28.  It just seems rather sudden is all.  Before you know it, I'm going to be 30!  Then 40!  Then I'll be going to Ben's high school graduation, college graduation, wedding....ahhhhh!!!  It's happening waaay too fast!

It's bad enough that I have the stepsons rushing through all this stuff.  (Just so you know there is an iron clad rule in the house that NO ONE makes me a grandmother before I'm 30.  And I'm thinking I need to up that to 35...)  I've already done one high school graduation and another one is fast approaching....

SLOW DOWN!  I'm pretty sure I don't need the next two years (or ten) to fly by quite so fast.  Plus I'd really like to keep the gray hair and wrinkles at bay for a few more years....

So I'll just take today very slow....maybe tomorrow will follow suit...and the day after...and the day after....


PS-Tomorrow is gonna be a big day for my Blog...stay tuned!!  :)

Weekend Plans

Yesterday I cleaned out my car.  Got all the trash and excess toys out, gave it a quick vacuum and wiped out some of the dust.  It's not spectacular, but it's better.

Today I'm going to be packing.  Ben requires about a zillion outfits, diapers and snacks.  I just need a change of clothes and a toothbrush.
 
The dog sitter (aka Jake) is lined up to stay at the house and keep the dogs from destryoing it.  (Easier said than done).

Tomorrow morning the three of us are hitting the road and driving up for a visit to Papa and Nana on the island.  Nice!

We don't get up there as often as we'd like.  It's a long drive with an almost-two-year-old.  It also requires the stars to align properly with me not working, us not having plans, and finding someone to dog sit.  But Don and I agreed we needed to get out of town this weekend, so away we go!

There is only one fatal flaw to this plan.  The library is closed today, so I won't be bringing a new book with me.  WHO CLOSES A LIBRARY ON A FRIDAY????  Ugh.  I'm pleading with my husband to go to the Portland library for me today, but I have a feeling he won't have time.  I suppose I could always spend my extra time writing while I'm up there.  Perhaps I could get a belated start on National Novel Writing Month?  Maybe.....or maybe I could just borrow a book from my stepmother...that sounds like a better plan to me.

So watch out Islesboro, I'm on my way up for the weekend, and I don't have a book with me.


 

A Quote for Thought

"The English language lacks the words 'to mourn an absence.' For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only 'I am sorry for your loss.' But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?" - Laura Bush

A facebook friend posted that on her status last night, and I really thought it was an excellent quote.  My husband and I struggled with infertility for three and a half years before Ben was conceived through IVF.  I've actually been thinking about it a lot lately because I had always been under the impression that once I had a kid, infertility would no longer haunt my life.  But that's not true, and not just for the fact that having a second child would be a major ordeal.  It leaves you with a lot of doubts about your ability to take on other tasks.  It's hard to describe exactly, but the doubt is there in the back of your mind. 

Despite the toll infertility takes on you both before and after conceiving, there is one thing you gain from it.  Strength.  I don't think anyone who has battled years of disappointment, frustration, anger, and sadness can come away from it without an amazing perspective on their ability to withstand all that and still succeed.  It's a pretty big power trip, and I still rely on those feelings to get me through difficult things.  If I could conceive a child without lots of money, with endless shots and medications, despite constant disappointment and people asking me when I was ready to think about adopting, I'm pretty sure that I can get through anything.  Including a winter on a limited budget.

I know Laura Bush's quote doesn't really talk about strength, it talks about loss, and the inability to express a loss of something doesn't even exist yet.  I guess for me, just reading that, and remember my own feelings of loss, I can't help but think about the strength required to endure that and the lessons I learned about myself from experiencing that.

Candy Induced Craziness...I think

So last night I thought it would be a good idea to write a blog for every day in November.  Sitting here at the computer now, I'm pretty sure I was delusional.  Or high on Halloween candy.  Perhaps both?

I haven't even the slightest clue what I'm going to write about this month.  My life really isn't as adventuresome as you might think.  I read, I clean, I cook, I work (well I did work) and I take care of my kiddo.  That's it.  The inspiration for interesting blog posts is a touch lacking.  (Case in point: I'm currently trying to talk myself out of writing a raving review of the Greek Yogurt I'm eating...)  BUT, I'm determined to do this.

Today has been a pretty up and down day.  I'm usually an emotional rock, but today if I let my thoughts run away I find myself tearing up or struggling to breathe.  Worrying about money is one of my least favorite past times, but is unfortunately one I can't seem to get away from.  All I can say is that I'm glad Ben is around to keep me smiling.  Yesterday he shared his stickers with me and today his cookie.  When I catch myself feeling miserable I try to remember how things felt before he was born to remind myself how far things have come.  I might not have money, but I do have Ben, and I know how lucky I am to have him.

Fingers crossed that tomorrow will be a better day.  In the meantime, I'll just grab a book (and some Halloween Candy) to keep my thoughts in check...

NaBloPoMo

Well, this month is off to a rotten start.  Losing my part time job is a pretty miserable way to start a month, especially a month that happens to contain my birthday.  I've been in a funk all day.  BUT, I went online tonight and discovered that November is National Novel Writing Month.  That sounds pretty awesome, but a bit overwhelming to me.  50,000 words in one month, YIKES!  So I did a little more online messing around and discovered that November is ALSO National Blog Posting Month.  The goal being that you write a blog every day.  I've been pretty good about getting in a few entries a week, but never one a day.

Since I feel like I need something to occupy my mind and help with the overwhelming stress I'm feeling, I decided I'm going to participate...with BOTH of my blogs.  I entered this blog into a contest on blogher.com for daily drawings for prizes, and (possibly) a larger audience through their large website.  So we'll see how that goes.  I'm going to focus on the new website a bit more privately, since I'm still struggling with that one. 

I'm kind of excited, and not sure I can do this, but I'm going to try.  So here's hoping I can come up with something mildly interesting everyday this month...wish me luck!

Now What?

This morning I woke up with a list a mile long of things I wanted to get done today.  Make laundry detergent, clean the house, get some groceries, etc....

Then I checked my email and discovered that as of Friday, I will no longer have a job. 

I'm having a bit of a panic attack at the moment.  I don't make that much money on a weekly basis, but it's enough to keep our heads above water and I don't have to send my son to daycare.  For that, I was thankful.  And I really liked my job, I liked that they worked with my schedule, I liked the owners, I liked my co-workers and I liked my customers.  And I liked that it was less than 15 minutes from my house.

As the initial devastation is wearing off, I'm trying to figure out just what kind of job I want to replace this.  Do I wait tables again?  Do I look for a part time "professional" job and put Ben in daycare?  Can I afford to put Ben in daycare?  I just don't know.

I'm not afraid of a change, I'm just afraid that we're unprepared for change.